Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Funeral services

Visitation for Jim Goeke-Morey will take place Friday December 14, 2018, from 3:00pm to 5:00pm and 7:00pm to 9:00pm at Gasch's Funeral Home, 4739 Baltimore Avenue, Hyattsville MD 20781.

The Funeral Mass will be at 1:00pm on Saturday December 15 at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, 3107 63rd Avenue, Cheverly MD 20785.  Reception following in Fannon Hall.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Flying with the angels

There’s a party in heaven tonight welcoming our dear friend and my sweet love, Jim.

I imagine beer is flowing and glasses are clinking.
Irish music is playing and flags are flying.  
Joy and laughter are filling the air.
Gramma Flo Flo is making him crepes…”Just eat!”

And God is patting him on the back saying,
“Well done, my good and faithful servant. Well done.”

 (arrangement details to follow)

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Saying Goodbye

Just when it seems that we may have gotten a handle on Jim’s nausea, he gets sick again. Thankfully on the whole it was a better week with more alertness and less discomfort. However other symptoms have worsened and new ones are appearing that indicate with more confidence and sadness that the end is nearing.

It is hard to say goodbye. Hospice suggests perhaps beginning with one of the following:

What I love most about you…
What I will always remember…
What I will miss most about you…
What I learned from you…
What I will cherish…

If you are so inclined, please consider sharing your memories and reflections with us as you say goodbye to Jim. We have been moved by the messages of love so many have shared already. They mean the world to Jim and to me and they will be an invaluable lifeline for our daughters to their dad in the months and years ahead. You can email (marciegm@gmail.com), mail, drop off, or send through FB.  Thank you.

Please continue to pray for a peaceful transition for Jim.

Friday, November 30, 2018


Dear family and friends,

So many are praying and asking about Jim, so I wanted to send an update. Unfortunately, the disease seems to be progressing quickly at this point.

Jim has changed quite a bit in the last few weeks. Since Thanksgiving, he has gotten up briefly (in a wheelchair) a few times, but has spent most of his time in bed. He wakes periodically during the day, and may be awake for an hour or so if he has a special visitor, but he spends most of the day sleeping. He’s harder to wake now, less alert when he’s awake, and seems to have more trouble understanding. He enjoyed some homemade chicken noodle soup a few nights ago (thank you Jamie), but if he eats, which he doesn’t every day, it’s generally just a few bites of graham cracker or applesauce.  He is plagued with intermittent nausea and vomits at least once or twice a day but we’re still making medication adjustments in hopes of lessening that. He is having an even harder time communicating verbally so it’s difficult to know exactly when he has pain but we’re working hard to keep him comfortable. 

Based on all this, we expect that he is likely in his final week(s) and is unlikely to be here by Christmas.

It will come as no surprise to anyone who has been walking with him these past nine years that Jim has yet to complain, cry, yell, or pout in the face of this decline. At most, when I tell him it's time to take medicine (that tastes bad or is likely to make him throw up) he may scrunch up his face or grimace until I ask him to please open his mouth, at which time he acquiesces because for 27 years he has wanted nothing more than to make me happy.

Please continue to send greetings, memories, stories, admirations, photos, and funny videos. They mean the world to us and will be a treasure for the girls as a remembrance of their dad.

If you are inclined, please join the community prayer service Sunday 12/2 4:00 est  at St. Ambrose in Cheverly, or in spirit from wherever you are.


Belated Thanksgiving Greeting

We are grateful beyond measure for all of you and your support these past two weeks (and nine years!). Thank you for strengthening us through your prayers and well wishes. Thank you to those who have visited or sent emails, cards, facebook greetings, funny videos, and photos—I have not responded to most but have so greatly appreciated each one. Thanks to all who have brought food, desserts, and flowers; sent gift cards; run errand; raked leaves; or responded without question to all manner of odd request. Thank you for your friendship and your heart felt expressions of love.

We are so grateful for the medical care Jim has received all these years, and the large team (at hospice, Hopkins, NIH, & Weill Cornell) of dedicated and compassionate researchers and practitioners who support us so well (and return my emails and texts at all hours).

We are so grateful to have been able to share a lovely Thanksgiving week with dear friends and family—and grateful that Jim felt well enough to visit and even eat a bit of mashed potato, turkey, stuffing, and apple pie!

We are so grateful for each minute we have together... each kiss, each snuggle, each smile. each peaceful moment.

We are so grateful.

An invitation to pray with us Sun 12/2 4:00

A community prayer service will be held for Jim Goeke-Morey at St. Ambrose Catholic Church in Cheverly this Sunday 12/2 at 4:00. All are welcome. If you are not local, you are welcome to join your prayers from wherever you are. I am not sure if Jim (and by extension, I) will be able to get there physically but we will try if he is up for it. Thank you all for your prayers over the weeks, months, and years of this cancer journey.

Friday, November 16, 2018

An invitation to walk with us

We are surrounded by an extraordinarily caring and supportive community and we feel your love.  Many have asked how they can help, so I provide the following list of suggestions:

·      Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Your prayers have sustained us for nine years, and we need them now more than ever. Fr. Charlie will be organizing a community prayer—most likely Sunday Dec 2 at 4:00 at St. Ambrose Church.  I will post again as the date approaches

·      Send messages of love and appreciation to Jim—share memories, stories, kind words, thank yous. Tell him something you admire or appreciate about him. You can send messages directly to the house, through Facebook (to me and/or Jim), text, or email (marciegm@gmail.com)

·      Share laughs—share funny videos, pictures, jokes.  We have laughed our way through countless hours in doctor and hospital waiting room, and lightened many stressful or scary moments with funny animal videos.

·      Send me photos of Jim or upload them to this shared google folder (Jim Goeke-Morey photos)

The other thing we need right now is time. It is helpful if others take care of everyday tasks that free me to be able to spend time with Jim and attend to his needs.  If you’d like to provide instrumental support:

·      Bring meals (fresh or frozen, or gift cards/contributions for meal pick up or delivery)—this is graciously being coordinated by Amy Whitesel (awhitesel22@gmail.com)

·      Help with rides for A&G to or from school in Silver Spring (or to a carpool in University Park or Bowie)—this is graciously being coordinated by Megan Daly (1megandaly@gmail.com)

·      Be available for various needs --run errands, help with odds and ends, pick up groceries, drive girls to activities, rake leaves and shovel snow, etc. Sometimes these are planned, but sometimes they arise unexpectedly.  This is graciously being coordinated by my mom Carol Goeke (carolgoeke@yahoo.com)

If you’d like to bring a meal, drive, or be on the list to receive requests as needs arise, please provide your contact info here and someone will reach out.